Gratitude and Patience

France in the distance, even visible from water level! So close and yet so far! (foto taken after my 7 hour swim on Thursday)

One might think the Channel is there to teach a few things: patience, determination, humility, a never-give-up attitude, and that you have to put your heart 100 % into something, if you want to succeed. And even then there is no guarantee. (In regard to the mind-philosophy: some say, 80 % is in the mind, others say, best is "no mind". Both may be right.) Also it seems the weather has become much more unpredictable and unstable.

Friday (15th) morning 13 boats went out. Only 2 swimmers and one relay (if I am correct) made it to France. The wind picked up earlier and stronger from the South than expected, making progress extremely slow in conditions that were becoming dangerous, especially in the dark (feeding in high waves, being swept away from the boat or hit by it). Only a relay and two fast swimmers made it, one of them Liz Fry with her two-way attempt, who reached France in under 12 hours and even managed to swim a big part of her second leg back to England through the night, before she had to be pulled out due to the conditions after about 20 hours.

It was hard to believe when we heard the stories this morning on the beach. I felt so sorry - we had been so sure for Jonathon (caravan neighbour at Varne Ridge) and others they would make it. And at the same time I felt a deep sense of gratitude that I still have an opportunity to go. I would not have lasted in these conditions either, being a slower swimmer who might need a window of 15 hours plus. And the night was chilly - only 11 degrees Celsius even for Calais!

Even felt grateful in hindsight for the late money transfer, the bike problems etc. which had been keeping me and my mind busy during the "unswimmable" time. Had I tried to go out by all means and failed, I would not have been able to afford a second attempt in September.

Patiently hoping now that the Channel will again be like a fruit: all the efforts put in are part of the ripening process, and when the time is ripe it will happen. You can not force it or push it. Sumeru told me about an experience Reinhold Messner had with his Mount Everest climb without oxygen: He wrote that he tried to communicate with the mountain, and one day he felt it was "the" day where the mountain would allow to be climbed. Messner even fell into a deep crevasse, which under normal circumstances would have been it, but he had no fear and just knew he would stand at the top of the mountain at the end of the day. And he did.

I remember in 1985, when the day finally came, how smooth it felt. After 6 hours, in the middle of the Channel, I had the same feeling that it was already done, I just had to execute it. Maybe the fruit is not ripe and I am not completely ready yet.

Today only 3 hours in the harbour, yesterday the same, although I had hoped for two more long swims (at least Thursday I had managed a 7 hour swim) - the energy did go down a bit. Glad to get a break from Dover.

There are a few inspiring DVDs to keep spirits up for those waiting: Kanalschwimmer (Channel Swimmers) featuring Christoph Wandratsch in his record attempt plus two other swimmers, and "Heart", the true story of Marilyn Bell, who swam lake Ontario at age 16, outswimming Channel legend Florence Chadwick.

Quote from Marilyn Bell:

It's OK if you fail something,

as long as you don't give up,as long as you say

- OK, I will try it again !

And gratitude again to the Beach Crew, especially Freda, Irene, Barry, as well as Evelyn and Dave from Varne Ridge and all the support so far from other swimmers, friends and family.